Marcelo Valdes

When You Speaks
I Feel Something Very Ugly in Miy Mind.
You are the most Stupid and Fuckink Country in The Wold.
You are The Shit !
All this Shit Killer that soon
We are Kill and Delete of the Universe.

A door just opened on a street--
I, lost, was passing by--
An instant's width of warmth disclosed
And wealth, and company.
I see men and women inside,
Laughing and singing...
Drinking and dancing...
Cheering and chatting.
The TV blares loud music,
There are voices shouting.
A girl laughs, a man yells.
The door as sudden shut, and I,
I, lost, was passing by,--
Lost doubly, but by contrast most,
Enlightening misery....

Today, i found out that i what i had thought all along was wrong.... My crazy ex and his ex (before me), apparently got together a couple of months after we broke up right under my nose.... Uhh!!! How could he?
I am so mad right now, i can hardly put it into words, i know i need some kind of therapy for feeling like this but darnit, i am hurt and it reopens old wounds that i have been trying to heal for months.
True, i broke off the relationship but i was drowning in the web of craziness that was my ex and his family, once it was over i could breathe again.... It has been hard for me to open up about all the pain i feel inside....
I want to heal, i want to love again but i just feel stuck in a rut and i am trying my hardest to let go and i will get there...
I have been rejecting guys who want to go on dates cuz i have been too scared to open myself to the thought of such pain again! But then i can't find my prince if i don't open up! Who knows, maybe in all my silliness, i have lost him? I sure hope not!
I really want to be happy, i want to be love and feel loved ; i know that in order to love again i need to open myself to the possibililty of hurt again... i mean i must have gone nuts i think, i had run out of excuses... i sunk to a new low today, i got asked out and i flat out lied through my teeth, i mean, i couldn't even keep my story straight, i knew i was not believable.
But watching Oprah today coupled with scolding from friends, i have decided; this is the start of a new me, no more dwelling in the hurt of the past, instead i look forward to freeing myself first from my wahala... then who knows... i might have a love story to tell you guys someday!!
Phew!, that was deep.... I think i will call this blogi, "Letting Go"...

(Mvaldes)

You know when you end a relationship that meant something and you hurt for a long time and you hope the other person hurts as bad too!! I know thats wrong in every way but i have felt that way for a while....

There is no better relief

 that a good gathering

 with that bitch of always..

 And a cheap bottle of wine

 to be killing this way better the soul..

 And a wrangle to stamp on the cranium of some idiots' troop.

 There is no better relief

 that a good weapon

 and a great shot flying away the brains

 fucking god and virgin maria

 because the life and the death are a part

 of the infinite things that import a shit.

 There is no better love

 that not to love anything..

 And to go away there abouts in the mist

 and in the night

  in the cold

 and as the light of a lost star that some time ago is dead

 to go going out slowly

 going out slowly.....

(Marcelo Valdes)